you know you need a job when...

so, lately i have been looking for enchanting ways to spend my days. my hours have been filled with spending lots of great sistah-time with nicki (and fun future brother-in-law time, too!), gardening with diane, hanging with hannah, or my ultimate distraction, sipping at the coffee shop. i have been getting up, and going straight to the coffee shop. i usually waste two hours online looking for jobs, and wandering sites-it is to the point that i am sick of my routine of nothingness...and job searching inbetween...i really never thought the day would come! it is ok, because i am confident that somewhere out there things are lining up for me, and everything will work out. like it always does, right!

i wanna go home...

ahhh. i realized as i was looking for flights to me mommy and daddy that it was impossible to get the instant gradification i wanted. i was looking june 1st, and of course had to wait two weeks for a decent priced flight. booo. hooo. the problem is that i am house sitting from june 15-july 15 for my friends. i am thinking that i could come july 16-august 1 if i wanted, because i am homeless in that time. hmmmm. i am going to look up flights for then....

in appreciation...

wow, I have grown in the last week since I turned tweny five, and it has nothing to do with numbers, years, or time. Losing life has embedded a lesson in me, and changed my train of thought in many ways-some good, and some bad (the bad- pretty much temporary scarring ...I almost cried when I thought Luka, Catarina's beta ,died yesterday...he was only sleeping! or perhaps getting teary eyed and anxious when seeing h ambulences on the street, or paramedics in coffee shops will eventually go away!). Really, I learned that we only have one life to live, and fate is fate. There is no intervening, halting, or even slowing down the inevitable, which could creep up on us any day. NOt saying to ingore the fact that death is a huge part of life, but live life while respecting fate. I have grown, questioned, and gained spiritual knowledge and so much curiousity through Christy's death...not to be morbid, but I have needed to tap into that part of life, but would never let myself. What is done is done, and now it is time to take the puzzle pieces, and again work on my masterpiece (Mom and Dad: my life puzzle is looking like the metallic Monet puzzle we worked on at Hannah's right now!).
Thank you all for your prayers, love, support, and smiles.
I LOVE YOU ALL...
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