oh where oh where has my little becki been. oh where oh where can she be...
sooo...here i am again, can you believe what a mother bloggert i am? i have to do at least a couple of entries to make up for my past lack of bloggness. anyway, as for me...i have been very distracted by anything, and everything. i am really looking at taking becki time to listen to my inner voice, heart, self...whatever you wish.
my very blunt, intelligent friend, anna, just finished telling my what a (nice) pushover i am. it is completely true. a pushover is a good explaination. i second guess myself, don't form an opinion. if i do, i rarely voice it. i just think i have lost myself somewhere along this journey of life.
it happens, and that is the "fun" of it all...i will write more when i am so lucky!
my very blunt, intelligent friend, anna, just finished telling my what a (nice) pushover i am. it is completely true. a pushover is a good explaination. i second guess myself, don't form an opinion. if i do, i rarely voice it. i just think i have lost myself somewhere along this journey of life.
it happens, and that is the "fun" of it all...i will write more when i am so lucky!
posted by Becki @ 12:39 AM
5 Comments:
At 1:51 AM ,
kelli said...
Glad to see you're back! I love being able to respond to your journal. This is something we never got to do with Nicki's journal we'd snoop and read. How awful is that?!? I can't believe we were such shits. Personally, I think it was all YOU! Miss "Clean the Cheetoes from your teeth".
I understand what your friend is saying about you. It certainly makes sense. The thing you need to be careful about, (I've seen this happen to a few people, including myself) is that after being compliant and overly-easy-going for so long, you start to feel this newfound independence and growing urge and confidence to start overly expressing yourself, not giving two-shits how it comes across. The way I'd explain it, as I experienced too, is that I felt this need to just say whatever I felt, so much to the point that I was then being the total opposite of compliant to the point of being rude, insensitive and bitchy. I did learn, and am learning that there really is a balance to listening, understanding and being heard all at the same time. It's really easy to get caught up in the human need and desire to be understood and then forget to really listen to others at the same time.
At 1:52 AM ,
kelli said...
Oh, and your pic...I love it! I love being able to see your face, even if it's the same picture over and over and over again!
At 6:06 PM ,
: the art of living : said...
I took a seminar on "assertive communication skills for women" via work, and there is definitely a balance to be found. I found that asserting myself immediately after- even though I was feeling like I was being bossy, etc- didn't seem to really phase anyone but me. There's a fine line between "assertive" and "aggressive," but I truly don't know if most non-assertive people can truly and comfortably switch over to aggressive. Most likely and hopefully you'll find that happy balance!
The biggest thing I learned is that people respect you more if you're assertive. And that asking questions like, "Umm, it's no big deal if you can't, but if it wouldn't be a big problem do you maybe think you could____ blahblahblah..." Just get to the point! Ask straight up for what you want! (and of course I'm still working on all this stuff but can give some good advice of course)
You go girl!
At 9:28 PM ,
Lynette said...
Glad to see you are up and running again. Kelli is off to the big city of Minneapolis with her Dad for some kind of concerts so it is just Dad and me. She is having surgery on Weds. sooo I get to be "nurse rachet". She shouldn't be down long but it will drive her crazy to be up here with me and the lovely children. I just want to say you can be strong without being a beoitch. You have always had a strong personality and you always were strong with your believes in things. I think you still are you just have had a bumpy 5 months and some personal things that make you feel like you can't make a decision and stick to it. Get your life in a settled in mode and I think you will find the rest will fall in place. You can make good decisions it just takes some time to think out the good and the bad and jump in with both feet and say darn that did or did not work out like I wanted what the heck will I do different next time? Life is such a game you just hope you are making the right choices at the right time. Life and learn is not an old adage that does not have a lot of truth in it!! Love ya!
At 12:36 PM ,
Becki said...
wow, i love this blogstuff. it feels great to have three ladies i love supporting me while voicing advice, and words of wisdom. thank you sooo much! i have already been better about simply stating what i need/want, while remembering that it is ok. I need to put myself before other's, and that is my main obstacle.
like my friend told me, the people you may lose by simply stating your opinion, aren't needed in your life. there are millions of people in this world that have the same morals, values, and beliefs...she is the most straight forward girl (almost too much!), and she said people DO respect her and her more as a person. then, i realize, 'Hey! I am still friends with her!' This girl tells me how spacey I am at least once a day.me? what?
what's my name? where are my keys? i swear i put them...
anyway, i love you all, and thank you for your words (even if they make me tear up!).
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